Coping Skills

5 Things a Recovering Addict Must Learn

It is said that old habits die hard.  That often holds true when it comes to addicts.  They have used the same worn out excuses for so long that it feels normal to them.  So, what can an addict learn that will help them achieve an entirely different perspective?

Here are five vital areas that need to be addressed before lasting recovery can happen:

• Stop placing blame on others.

It’s no surprise to hear an addict complain that no one understands or cares about them. They wear their victim mentality like a banner blaming other people, places, and things for their shortcomings.  It’s much easier to blame others than to acknowledge the truth and take responsibility.  But, when the individual accepts that he or she is responsible for making things different, they grow stronger with each little accomplishment.  Over time, they learn to replace negative thought patterns with positive, life-affirming thoughts.  This new way of thinking will serve them well in all aspects of their life.

• Accept the fact that you will make mistakes.

Most addicts struggle with self-deprecating thoughts that keep them trapped in the addiction.  Self-doubt is their worst enemy, and the fear of failure prevents them from even trying to make a change.  An addict must learn to accept that they will make mistakes and not let those mistakes become an excuse for giving up.  Even a relapse can be a learning experience.  It’s important for the recovering addict to realize that there is no shame in making a wrong decision.  How he or she reacts to the situation is the crucial part.  For these reasons, many rehab facilities recommend an aftercare program that provides continued guidance and support on those days when everything seems to go wrong.

• Let go of past anger and resentments.

This won’t be easy because anger overwhelms the person’s ability to rationalize. But, being angry at others for perceived injustices doesn’t solve any problems.  It only uses up a lot of mental time and energy that could be spent doing something more productive.  Also, many people use anger as a tool to camouflage other emotions that are threatening to surface.  Rather than show any sign of weakness or hurt, the person acts out with wrath or indignation.  For a recovering addict, this self-defeating line of thinking can lead them to relapse.  A person in recovery must learn to let go of these feelings and practice forgiveness if they are to succeed in remaining sober.

• Stop lying to yourself.

One of the most enduring characteristics of addiction is the art of lying.  Addicts lie to everyone, including themselves.  After years of lying to justify the addiction, lying to get money, and lying to get out of trouble, it will be difficult to stop.  But, when a recovering addict learns to be honest with themselves and others, they have taken the first step in a successful recovery.  Honesty cultivates integrity and integrity is the foundation of a life well-lived.  When an addict gains this skill, the chances for lasting sobriety are increased dramatically.

• Adopt an attitude of gratitude.

Gratitude is more than simply saying “thank you.”  It’s an attitude.  It’s a way of living your life.  When this skill is cultivated, life seems easier.  Rather than always looking at what you don’t have, learn to appreciate the little things and the other people in your life.  In this way, by shifting your focus away from your problems, they lose some of the power you have given them.  As with the other points listed here, this too will take time and experience.  Changing these behaviors means you’ll be a different person.  But, if it means you’ll no longer need drugs, then it’s a change for the better.  Remember, you recover from addiction by creating a better life where it’s easier not to use drugs.

It’s not easy to overcome addiction and change almost every habit you ever had all at the same time.  Don’t be too hard on yourself.  Expect to make mistakes.  Accept that you will feel overwhelmed.  Admit that you need support or just a shoulder now and then.  Realize that you are embarking on a journey that will take you to a much better place than those drugs ever could have.